Children get older, I'm getting older too...

Sometimes I find myself waiting for my life to start.   Like some magical day I'm going to wake up and everything will be as it should be, as I thought it would be.

When I was a little girl, I dreamt about how perfect life would be someday.    And though in my dreams I never could quite see the details, the story always ended the same: Happily Ever After.   

Sometimes I still feel like that little girl, still dreaming about what life will be like when I grow up.   And here I sit,  getting older every day, and I find myself wondering when I'm going to start living?    I spend so much time waiting.... for that happily ever after.   But the truth is, life is not a fairy tale.   Don't get me wrong, life is beautiful, my life is beautiful.    But life is a journey, a long and winding journey, with ups and downs.    I just have to keep reminding myself to open my eyes along the way, because there are beautiful things happening all around.   

I need to learn how to let go.  

Of people I've loved, and lost.  

Of ideas I had about who I should be

Of mistakes that I've made.

Of what might have been.

I need to stop waiting

And just let it be 

stop dwelling on the past.

Stand up and walk out of your history.

-- Phil McGraw

and remember that things change.

I need to start living.

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.
-- Joseph Campbell

The Story of Cosmetics

Did you know only 20% of the ingredients found in most personal care products have been tested for their toxicity levels?  Would you fly with an airline that only tested 20% of it's airplanes?

No one is regulating what you put in and on your body, or your kiddo's bodies.   Make the smart choice and become a label reader.   Educate yourself and make sure your making safe choices for you and your family.   Most people think I sell lipstick, but really, I educate people on how to live healthier lives.  Every choice matters!  

Thank you Arbonne for keeping my family safe!  

Papa...Paparazzi....

Last week Jake and I had our pictures made by a friend of ours, Chelsea Lewis with Chelsea Lewis Photography.   I am sooooo not photogenic, and I hate having a camera pointed at me, but I warned her before we started that I was going to be awkward!!  Haha.   Thankfully Jake is a big ham and after a while they got me to relax a little.   Here are a few of my favorite shots.  Let me know what you think!

P.S.  I saw "Eclipse" today for the FOURTH time.   Obsessed much?  I think so.  

Okay mom, you can read my diary...just this once!

A blast from the past, a page from one of my many diaries.   I think everyone should keep a diary, especially when you're young.  It's so fun to look back on.   I'm not entirely sure which guy I wrote this about, haha.... but whoever it was sure had pissed me off!!!!   Too funny.  

January 2, 2002

(I was 17)

So, I'm in love with you?

Funny how I never knew.

And how you never knew me.

My beauty, intelligence, depth.

Things you'll never see.

It's a shame.

All that you could have had.

Excuse me, what did you say?

I can't hear you,

Your hair gel is screaming too loud.

It's making the statement that 

"You're so vain..."

You probably think this poem's about you.  

Oh well.

Too bad, so sad.

You'll never have what you could have had.  

Cry me a river...

"...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit." 
-Lemony Snicket (The Bad Beginning)

So tonight on "The Bachelorette," Ali said that her decision had nothing to do with the families...but come on.... would you really want to be married to a guy who's dad has a basement full of dead animals!?  Creepy!!!!!!

Anyway.... as Ali was tearfully saying goodbye to Kirk tonight, for some odd reason I started to think about how weird tears are.   I mean, don't you think it's strange how our emotions can elicit a physical response like that?  I do.   I googled it tonight and was surprised to find that no one really knows why we cry.    They know why it happens when our eye is poked, or we are in physical pain, but they still haven't figured out the connection between our emotions and our tears.   Strange, isn't it?   I did read one article that said how our tears that are produced from an emotional response, are different from those produced by physical pain.   The emotional tears have more of a certain hormone in them that is a natural pain killer!  Interesting, isn't it?   I guess that's why some believe that crying is therapeutic, though that has never been proven scientifically really.  

"Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water." ~Antoine Rivarol

One article  said that in a recent study, it was found that women on average cry 64 times a year, and men only 17.   It is also stated how difficult it is to figure out the cause of crying, because it involves so many questions as to whether tears are involuntary or not.   For instance, in recent times, more and more men are learning that crying can be seen as a positive thing, that it shows that they have a sensitive side, that they can be vulnerable.    And just the opposite, more and more women are fighting back the tears in order to show that they are not too sensitive or too vulnerable.

"I often want to cry.  That is the only advantage women have over men - at least they can cry."  ~Jean Rhys

Just another thing that is influenced by the world around us.   Politicians seem to be able to cry on cue these days, and most of the great schools for acting have courses on how to cry on demand!   It's just another thing for us to judge people by I suppose, because even tears can seem so insincere sometimes!  

I've found that the older I get, the more and more I cry.   I'm not really sure why that is, but I think a lot of it is having the confidence to know that it's okay to cry.    I used to see it as a weakness, but I don't anymore.   I think it's okay to cry sometimes, and even good for you.    It's a strange thing, that's for sure!   

"Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts."

~Charles Dickens,Great Expectations, 1860

I smell like smoke, pot, and hippies.

That can only mean one thing: Forecastle!!    Tonight we went to the Forecastle festival, and it was a lot of fun.  One of my customers is a sponsor so he hooked us up with free tickets...score!

I mainly wanted to go today to see "She and Him," which is Zooey Deschanel's band.  I love her, I think she's adorable.   My husband thinks so too, in a very different way!!  Haha.  

We had a lot of fun, despite all of the nasty smoke!  

Oh the sights you see at Forecastle!!  These ladies were very entertaining, haha.

I made him do this, haha.

"She and Him"

Zooey and the band sang "I put a spell on you" as an Encore.  I loved it!

Though I really wish she would have sang this:

OH, and I have a bloody lip from my husband.  That's right, he punched me in my mouth and bloodied my lip!!!   Okay, it was an accident.  He was trying to get his wristband off his wrist after the concert and his hand flew back and hit me in my mouth.    But I'm totally going to tell people he hit me!!!!!   ; )

Take a look, it's in a book...

I got a new book today that I'm excited to start!

Anyone read it before?   I'm looking forward to the movie with Julia Roberts that's coming out soon, and it really got me interested in reading the book, especially when I found out it's a true story!    I hope it's good! 

Besides the Twilight books, (which I read constantly over and over again), here are some other books I've read lately that I would really recommend:

This book is sooooo good!  It's about two people who grew up together, finding one another again after years apart.  I know it sounds completely generic, but it's not at all!  I was hesitant to read it at first, but I'm so glad that I did.  It's definitely a book you should go pick up!  I think it's actually one of my favorite books I've read. 

I actually bought this book on accident, but I'm glad I did!  I was disappointed at first when I got home and realized that I had the title wrong and it wasn't the book I was expecting.  But, I kept reading and was instantly drawn in.   It's fabulous, and I can't wait to read the sequel.   

What great books have you been reading?