Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Bird Poop Facial Anyone? Sperm? Snail Secretion?

Has it been a stressful week?   Did you find a new wrinkle that just won't seem to go away?   Don't worry..... just head on over to the spa and treat yourself to a bird poop facial!   Or even better, throw some sperm on there to help with those fine lines.    

You think I'm making this stuff up.    
....I wish I was.   

Check out the newest (and grossest) 
trends in the beauty world:

Bird Poop:
 A load of crap -- literally. For centuries geishas have applied nightingale poo to their faces to detoxify (that seems counterproductive) their pores and brighten discolorations. For a few hundred bucks, you can have a modernized version of the ancient treatment -- the droppings are sterilized via UV light and applied during a facial. (David and Victoria Beckham are reported fans of the fecal facial.) And another strange treatment from Japan that is gaining popularity Stateside...

Snail Secretion:
 In 2009 Michael Todd Cosmetics introduced Knu Anti-Aging Tri-Complex, which includes a 90 percent concentration of, yes, actual snail goo. They claim the (purified) secretion has excellent regenerative properties and helps prevent and correct wrinkles and loss of firmness.

Or, more accurately, spermine, is an antioxidant found in human sperm. A Norwegian company found a way to synthesize it and now women pay to have spermicide facials in the hopes of smoothing fine lines and wrinkles.

Fish Pedicures:
 Forget pumice stones and foot files -- why not dunk your tootsies in a fishbowl and let little carp nibble away rough skin and calluses? Although people report their feet to be soft and smooth afterward, there are some concerns that letting fish eat your feet is less than sanitary.

Baby Foreskin:
 Fibroblasts from infant skin are particularly regenerative, which means they can be used for wound healing or, in this case, wrinkle reduction. SkinMedica uses stabilized human-growth factors derived from circumcised foreskin that would be discarded anyway, and it's always, um, donated to the supplying lab with informed consent from the baby's guardian.

Ever consider soaking yourself in a tub full of beer? And we don't mean that time in college when you spilled your Bud Light in the hot tub. Head to Chodovar Family Brewery right outside of Prague, Czech Republic, and take a 20-minute soak in the special "bathing beer," which is supposedly very nourishing for the skin.

Snake Massage:
 At Ada Barak's Carnivorous Plant Farm in Israel, you can take a little break from watching plants devour rodents to have a bunch of snakes slither over your bare body. The snake massage is reputed to have soothing, therapeutic benefits and can help chronic problems like headaches or tight muscles. (Or cause cardiac arrest!) And speaking of snakes...

Snake Venom:
 (Or at least a synthetic version.) Syn-Ake is a skin-care ingredient meant to mimic the paralyzing effects of snake venom and soften wrinkles -- at least temporarily -- like a topical Botox. Get a "snake venom" facial at Sonya Daker in Beverly Hills or look for the ingredient in Kumaara Overnight Repair Complex. 

by Courtney Dunlop  Stylelist

I don't think I'll be putting any poop, sperm, or foreskins on my face anytime soon.

And as for the snakes........  I'd rather die.

Makes Arbonne's "Pure, Safe, and Beneficial" look better everyday!!!


  1. Um...didn't the whole zombie apocalypse thing in Resident Evil stem from trying to find the "fountain of youth". thanks.

  2. Reminds me of that Nip/Tuck episode where the women started selling semen as face cream.

    Some people are twisted!

  3. Okay, Ash. I think you just jump-started my morning sickness with this post. EWSpice.

    Baby foreskin?!?!

  4. i know a few people that have done the fish eating dead skin thing and said it was good. one friend sat in a bath of them. that kinda freaked me out.. ALOT. But it apparently made his skin nice.

    As for the snake venom.. it works. my boss is using it at the moment, her skin looks amazing. she is 40 so little lines are showing and the snake venom has made her look super young.

  5. haha these are all so weird, baby foreskin freaks me out!

  6. I knew sperm was good! But seriously, why pay for it? Kidding, sort of.

  7. EWWWW on the sperm one. Haha. And bird poop, I hope they find a way to make it not stink.

    I had a fish spa the other day. It tickled.

  8. Yuck, yuck, yuck! I will just get my regular facial, thanks! (:

  9. Oh girl, ewwww. Bird poop?....guess that gives a whole new meaning to the phrase S_ _ _ face. Oh Lord I am tacky this morning! haha

    Hope you have a great weekend! xoxo

  10. There does come a time in a girl's life when you will consider things you never thought possible before. It's hard to say goodbye to smooth skin. I'm 40 and just starting to think about this stuff. You've got time and hopefully there will be something more sensible when you need it. These remedies are truly horrible...I'm with you. Thanks for coming by. Holly:)

  11. The fish pedicures freak me out the most!!!!

  12. There's this place near me that does the fish pedicures and apparently they're amazing, but the health department made them stop.

    And i used to work at a skincare place and we had this peel that was amazing for the skin but the post-care serum contains urea....something made from horse urine! Ick!