If I could write a letter to me...

I'm participating in the "In My Daughter's Eyes" project by Pink Moss.    She looking for 100 women who will write a letter to their 12 year old self.   I think that is a fabulous idea!  So, here is my long-winded letter to myself.... I had a lot to say! 

Dear Ashley,

Wow, right now you are in the 7th grade, and you hate it don't you!?   I know that you are feeling so alone right now, and awkward.   But I'm writing to let you know, that everything is going to turn out okay.   In just a few months, mom will take you to get a makeover.   You'll cut off that hair and get blonde highlights that will make you feel awesome!   I know you are afraid of contacts, but trust me, soon you will break down and get them, and people will tell you how beautiful your eyes are, so get rid of those huge glasses!   I know you are shy, but really, there is no need to be.   You are a wonderful young lady, and as you grow up, you will look back and realize how amazing your love for your friends, family, and God was at such a young age.  Be proud of that!    It will continue to be hard, you'll compare yourself to the other girls at school.  The ones who always look so pretty and have the boys following them around.    Several of them will end up pregnant at a young age, so don't be envious!   And when you see them about 10 years from now, you'll be so happy that you are not them.  

Next year will be better, you'll make friends and will actually start to like school.  And you are going to LOVE high school.  I won't spoil it for you, but great things are going to happen!   (Just one thing.... don't sing "You Can't Take that Away from Me" for the "Can-Can" auditions.  You won't hit the note at the end and you'll always wonder if you could have landed the lead had you just sang a different song.   Sing "In Your Eyes," you do that one better.)   Anyway....

Be true to yourself.    Your friends will call you a "goody goody."  They will tell you that you are naive, and innocent.   Hold onto that!    I know sometimes you hate being the "good girl," but in the end, you will be so happy and thankful that you missed out on all of the stupid things your friends are doing.   They will have to deal with so much heartache that you won't have.   Don't judge them, or act like you're better than them, but know that you are doing what's right, and be happy.   But with that being said, don't always feel like you have to be perfect.   The world won't end if you make a mistake.  And trust me, you will make plenty of them through the years.   Mom and Dad don't expect perfection from you, and they will be there for you when you fall short.  

Most of all, I want you to be confident in yourself.   Believe in yourself and don't let anyone tear you down!   Here's a secret:  everyone is insecure at the age of 12.   Those pretty girls you think so much of are just as scared as you.   Embrace what makes you different, and be proud of it.   Don't be afraid to sing in front of others, to dance, to paint.... these are things you will feel such passion for in a few years!

And don't worry.... someday a boy will kiss you.   And he'll be cute too!   You'll be glad you waited.   Trust me, when you look back at your yearbook 10 years from now, you will wonder what in the world you saw in some of those little boys you had such a crush on.    You think now that no one could ever want you, that no one likes you, and that your ugly.   Well, you're wrong.   You are beautiful, and so many people like you for who you are.   And in a few years, there will be plenty of boys to choose from.   Just stay away from the 23 year old... you'll know what I mean in about 3 years time.  And trust me, he's a loser.    When he asks you to dance, just say you have to go to the bathroom.

Don't be afraid to say what you really feel and think.    Don't hold back anything, because you will regret it.   Take chances, and know that no matter what happens, it will be okay.    14 years from now, you will be so proud of the person you were at 12 years old.   And the only thing that you will regret in your life, is that you didn't have more confidence in yourself.    You have no idea what you are capable of, but let me tell you, it's a lot.   So, go for it!

Keep putting spiritual things first, as I know you will.   You will be so blessed for this.   Hold your head up high knowing that you are special.   When you get older, plenty of people will tell you you're pretty, and plenty of guys will hit on you.   So stop worrying about it now.  The most important thing that I want you to remember, is listen to your conscience.   When you get that gut feeling that something is wrong, listen to it.  Don't be swayed by flattery or attention.   This will make more sense in a few years time.    Just know that you don't need others to tell you you how pretty you are, or how great you are.  Because the truth is, none of that matters unless you believe it yourself.   So tell yourself you are pretty, and tell yourself you great, because you are.

Lots of Love,
You

P.S.  Look both ways before you pull mom's jeep out onto Hwy 22.... trust me.