Exotic Maids

So, there I sat, listening to the guys as they quoted stupid movies, and enjoying my chicken fajita rollup.  (Pre-vegetarian days.)   It was the summer of 2002, and we were in Indianapolis to play a concert.   Since it was tradition, the rest of the band and I went to Applebee's for dinner before the show.   Everything was normal, the roll up was delicious (poor little chicken), the jokes were stupid, and my bladder was small.   I excused myself to the ladies room.   Once inside the restroom, I heard someone else come in behind me.  And though there was an empty stall next to me, she didn't go in.  Instead she stood quietly right outside my stall door.   Weird... I thought... maybe the other stall is dirty or something?   But when I went out to wash my hands, I saw that she was looking straight at me.   

"Excuse me," she says "I wanted to talk to you."

"ooookkaay," I smile, but I'm really thinking she's crazy.

"I don't know if you'd be interested or not, but the owner of 'Exotic Maids' is sitting at the bar, and he said that you are exactly what he's been looking for.   We have a great opportunity for you to make lots of money."  

I say nothing.  Is this really happening?

She hands me a business card "think about it, and give us a call...  See ya sweetie."   She winks at me and walks out, leaving me there alone with my shock.   

I look down at the business card, which has a picture of a woman in a french maid costume, bending over with a feather duster in her hand.  It reads 

Exotic Maids Cleaning Service: 

Cheerleaders, Librarians, School Teachers, French Maids, and More!  

24 hour service, call anytime!  

Oh yeah... that sounds legitimate.  I mean, it's perfectly normal to need a 24 hour cleaning service.  It's perfectly normal (and not at all pervy) to want your maid to be dressed as a naughty cheerleader while she vacuums your floor at 3 AM.   

I went back to the table feeling like I had just been punked.  I told the guys, and of course, they thought it was hilarious... which, it was!   And even though it was funny, I was also kind of creeped out and ready to go, especially because I was now acutely aware of the skeezy looking guy at the bar, staring at me.  

That weekend, we went to dinner with my parents.  I told them I had a funny story, and I related my bathroom run in.  

 "Why in the world would I look like someone who would be interested in something like that!?" I exclaimed.

"Well," my dad said, "what were you wearing?"  

Thanks Dad.   OBVIOUSLY I was wearing something that shouted "Hey!  I'm someone who would love to join your prostitution ring,  dirty cleaning service.   

True story.   Gotta watch them shady characters at Applebees!