Friday, February 5, 2010

So...a guy walks into a bar

So, tonight 3 blind guys came into the bar. No... seriously. For real... 3 blind guys came into the bar, haha. They are really nice guys that come in every once in a while from the home they live in down the street. They are hilarious and always hit on me, though I've reminded them many times that they have no idea what I look like. "Oh, we can tell you're beautiful just by the sound of your voice." What a line! I bet I'm not the first one to hear that one.

So, they were enjoying themselves and the night was going pretty well. They had drank a lot of beer, but hey, they weren't driving home, so honestly, we weren't too worried about it. Timmy, the youngest of the 3 decided that he was hungry, so he ordered a quesadilla and some macaroni and cheese. Then... things took a turn for the worse. About half way through his quesadilla, Timmy started to not look so good. He put his head down on the bar. We told his friends that we didn't think he was feeling too well. They started to ask if he was okay.... too late... up came the macaroni and cheese..... right onto the bar.

It. Was. Disgusting.

This is not in my job description. Immediately, each bartender exclaimed "I am not cleaning that up!" Suddenly the guys behind the bar bolted leaving me and Justine, the other girl bartender to deal with the mess. She went to call them a cab, leaving me alone with the puke. I refused to clean it up as well, and I told my manager she was going to have to find someone to deal with the vomit. By this time though, other customers were at the bar, and were clearly disgusted by the puke....and the smell. Finally Justine came back and we decided that we would do it together as quickly as possible. We grabbed a million towels and screamed and squirmed the whole time. Finally, we had it cleaned up and in the garbage. And guess what!? Seconds after the puke on the bar was gone... there he went again. He puked all down the front of the bar and all over the floor. His poor friends had it splattered all over them, and it was clear they didn't know what to do. We had to direct them where to not step, and I debated what to do about Timmy's sunglasses that were now soaking in a pile of vomit. (I decided to leave them.) About this time, my manager made a dash to the bathroom, where she proceeded to throw up from the rank smell. Everyone was watching the chaos, and I joined the band wagon: "okay, I am NOT cleaning that up." One of the other managers finally grabbed a mop and decided to take on the job. After he got the majority up, he told me to wait there while he went to get some sanitizer. About that time a kid came running through with just a pair of socks on. I yelled at him to get away from the bar... but too late, he had already ran right through the wet mess. I bet his parents will wonder what that horrible smell is later on when they're on their way home.

Another bartender called the puker and his friends a cab, and on their way out the door he left several other piles for someone to clean up (not me). Since the cab took an hour to get there, the other 2 guys decided to come back in and ask for another drink. "Um, no." they were told.

I really felt sorry for them, I'm sure they were all very embarrassed. But after that, to put it mildly, I was pretty much done for the evening and ready to go home. I don't think I'll be eating macaroni and cheese for a while.


  1. My oh my... that sounds disgusting!!! I would not wanted to have to clean that up, but luckily for the other patrons you did :)

    Ahh life in a bar or restaurant... very intersting stuff!

  2. yeah, it's always interesting, and I work at a family restaurant! I can't imagine working like at a nightclub. haha

  3. Ashley, I really like your blog and the way you write. Not your job though. Ha ha.

    Thank you for your sweet comment on my blog. It's good to know there are people all over the world caring and praying for our safety. :)

  4. Ewww.

    That is so disgusting. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little while reading.

    The worst I had to clean up while working in a restaurant was baby puke, which was no fun, but sounds less wretched than what you dealt with!